friends quotes funny

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second. ~William James



What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried? ~Abraham Lincoln



God punishes us mildly by ignoring our prayers and severely by answering them. ~Richard J. Needham



It is well-nigh obvious that those who are in favor of the death penalty have more affinities with murderers than those who oppose it. ~Remy de Gourmont



As the days grow short, some faces grow long. But not mine. Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy. It's time to start making soup again. ~Leslie Newman



Literary: of, relating to, or dealing with literature.



Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me. ~Lord Chesterfield



Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty. ~James Thurber, Time, 15 August 1960



I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it. ~Mae West



Some folks are wise and some are otherwise. ~Tobias Smollett



We come, not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. ~Francis A. Walker



Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. ~Thomas Carlyle



When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism! ~David Starr Jordan



Anger is short-lived madness. ~Horace



It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is. ~Desiderius Erasmus



Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. ~Roman Gary



All art requires courage. ~Anne Tucker



To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make. ~Truman Capote, McCall's, November 1967



I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. ~William H. Mauldin



Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else. ~Author Unknown

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