funny happy birthday quotes

A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1832



Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that�s bad for you! ~Tommy Smothers



Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned. ~Peter Marshall



The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough



They gave him a manger for a cradle, a carpenter's bench for a pulpit, thorns for a crown, and a cross for a throne. He took them and made them the very glory of his career. ~W.E. Orchard



Proverbs were bright shafts in the Greek and Latin quivers. ~Benjamin Disraeli



A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything. ~Samuel Johnson, Boswell, Life of Johnson, 1783



You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. ~Mark Twain



Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead. ~Jackie Robinson



A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way. ~John Tudor



The progress of an artist is a continual self-sacrifice, a continual extinction of personality. ~T.S. Eliot, Tradition and the Individual Talent, 1919



The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. ~William James



Beware of a man of one book. ~English Proverb



There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. ~Walt Streightiff There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. ~Beverly Sills



With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, "Notebook L," Aphorisms



Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence. ~Rosalynn Carter



The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease. ~Thomas Edison



Man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward. ~Job 5:7



Custom meets us at the cradle and leaves us only at the tomb. ~Robert Ingersoll, Individuality



Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. ~James Russell Lowell, "Cambridge Thirty Years Ago," Literary Essays

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