funny quotes about animals

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ~Douglas Adams



The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother - and they'll settle for a puppy every time. ~Winston Pendelton



I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing. Until then we're stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians. ~Pat McNelis



Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile? ~Lynn Hecht Schafren



Dodging and burning are steps to take care of mistakes God made in establishing tonal relationships. ~Ansel Adams



If equations are trains threading the landscape of numbers, then no train stops at pi. ~Richard Preston



I came out for exercise, gentle exercise, and to notice the scenery and to botanise. And no sooner do I get on that accursed machine than off I go hammer and tongs; I never look to right or left, never notice a flower, never see a view - get hot, juicy, red - like a grilled chop. Get me on that machine and I have to go. I go scorching along the road, and cursing aloud at myself for doing it. ~H.G. Wells, The Wheels of Chance



Wisdom is never on the menu, you have to own the restaurant. ~Carrie Latet



You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head. ~Matt Groening, The Simpsons, spoken by the character Marge Simpson



I suppose there were moonless nights and dark ones with but a silver shaving and pale stars in the sky, but I remember them all as flooded with the rich indolence of a full moon. ~Willa Sibert Cather



Virginity can be lost by a thought. ~St. Jerome



If the people were a little more ignorant, astrology would flourish... ~Robert G. Ingersoll



Injustice is relatively easy to bear; it is justice that hurts. ~H.L. Mencken



If you do everything you should do, and do not do anything you should not do, you will, according to the best available statistics, live exactly eighteen hours longer than you would otherwise. ~Logain Clendening



For breath is life, and if you breathe well you will live long on earth. ~Sanskrit Proverb



I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him. ~Abraham Lincoln



Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science. ~Edwin Powell Hubble, The Nature of Science, 1954



Nothing that is complete breathes. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



'Tis better to suffer wrong than do it. ~Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732



There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers

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