i love you brother poems

Me and ice cream. Best friends forever. ~Jessi Lane Adams



The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. ~G.C. Lichtenberg



If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? ~Art Hoppe



To err is human, to purr is feline. ~Robert Byrne



Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. ~John Lancaster Spalding



I'm not fat; I'm just really inflamed. ~Carrie Latet



Once you become self-conscious, there is no end to it; once you start to doubt, there is no room for anything else. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. ~Kurt Vonnegut



Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. ~Horace



I may not be different, but I'm definitely not the same. ~William J. Dybus



He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. ~Benjamin Franklin



Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host. ~Fred Allen



Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution. ~Robert Zend



He who buys what he does not need steals from himself. ~Author Unknown



Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped. ~African Proverb



If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me? ~Allen Collins and Ronnie Van Zant, "Free Bird," One More From the Road, 1973, performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd



But Jeshurun waxed fat, and kicked: thou art waxen fat, thou art grown thick, thou art covered with fatness; then he forsook God which made him, and lightly esteemed the Rock of his salvation. ~Deuteronomy 32:15



Little things console us because little things afflict us. ~Blaise Pascal



I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7



Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~P.J. O'Rourke

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