love and laughter quotes

Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley. ~Author Unknown



Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. ~Fran Lebowitz



There is no gardening without humility. Nature is constantly sending even its oldest scholars to the bottom of the class for some egregious blunder. ~Alfred Austin



W (double U) has, of all the letters in our alphabet, the only cumbrous name, the names of the others being monosyllabic. This advantage of the Roman alphabet over the Grecian is the more valued after audibly spelling out some simple Greek word, like "epixoriambikos." Still, it is now thought by the learned that other agencies than the difference of the two alphabets may have been concerned in the decline of "the glory that was Greece" and the rise of "the grandeur that was Rome." There can be no doubt, however, that by simplifying the name of W (calling it "wow," for example) our civilization could be, if not promoted, at least better endured. ~Ambrose Bierce



The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into a jury box. As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash. ~Harper Lee



Many an Irish property was increased by the lace of a daughter's petticoat. ~Irish Proverb



Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else. ~Author Unknown



I had burned my candle at both ends, and I was weary of these perilous and precarious adventures which had led me - whither? I was experiencing mental fatigue, a paralysis of my energies, and all my faculties were diminishing while still in their prime, sapped by neurasthenia. Ah, how I regretted not having followed the straight roads of life! ~"The Mission," Chapter 3



It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. ~H.L. Mencken



At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. ~Marshall Lumsden



People that put themselves above others will fall longer and harder. ~Gina Lindley



Better bread with water than cake with trouble. ~Russian Proverb



For hearts that are kindly, with virtue and peace, and not seeking blindly a hoard to increase; for those who are grieving o'er life's sordid plan; for souls still believing in heaven and man; for homes that are lowly with love at the board; for things that are holy, I thank thee, O Lord! ~Walt Mason



If I were Opportunity, I wouldn't just knock, you'd have to sign. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



A door opens to me. I go in and am faced with a hundred closed doors. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



You can't call it a sport. You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match. ~Steve Sax



Hate cages all the good things about you. ~Terri Guillemets



Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity. ~James Thurber



As contraries are known by contraries, so is the delight of presence best known by the torments of absence. ~Alcibiades

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