funny thanksgiving quotes

The dress must not hang on the body but follow its lines. It must accompany its wearer and when a woman smiles the dress must smile with her. ~Madeleine Vionnet



I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~Colonel Potter, M*A*S*H



Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ~Gloria Steinem



I would rather be right than President. ~Henry Clay, speech, 1850



Providence seldom vouchsafes to mortals any more than just that degree of encouragement which suffices to keep them at a reasonably full exertion of their powers. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne



Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ~Joseph Addison



Those obsessed with health are not healthy; the first requisite of good health is a certain calculated carelessness about oneself. ~Sydney J. Harris



You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.



Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. ~Howard Mumford Jones Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea. ~John Gunther



If you've lost your enthusiasm, there's no better place to find it than on a skipping excursion. And, you might just find your lost youth as well! ~Jessi Lane Adams



You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose. ~Lou Holtz and John Heisler, The Fighting Spirit



I am my own heaven and hell! ~J.C.F. von Schiller



It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit. ~Robert Louis Stevenson



Novelists... fashioning nets to sustain and support the reader as he falls helplessly through the chaos of his own existence. ~Fay Weldon



Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar, Following the Equator, 1897



Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings



Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. ~Doug Larson



Bad excuses are worse than none. ~Thomas Fuller



Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



Another novelty is the tea-party, an extraordinary meal in that, being offered to persons that have already dined well, it supposes neither appetite nor thirst, and has no object but distraction, no basis but delicate enjoyment. ~Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste

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